Conversations With My Son (Aged 2)

I WISH I was a Mummy Blogger.  Mummy Bloggers are some of the coolest and most renowned bloggerati in the online community.

They get recognition – they’ve been invited to The Lodge to meet with Julia Gillard.  They get awesome sponsorship – have a look at the ads on their websites.

And what really gets me sighing is that they produce erudite, witty and informative articles about being a parent.

No one hears about Daddy Bloggers.  Perhaps because our articles would be full of genial confusion and would simply recount our disasters.

You’ve seen how Dads are portrayed on TV.  They are goofy, inept and are often comic objects.

Well, who am I to disagree?  I look at the way my wife parents.  Sian is quiet, incisive, and makes the perfect judgement.

I tend to make it up as I go along, hoping my wife doesn't find out what we've been doing. 

But hey, at least I make them laugh.

For those who follow me on Facebook, over the last six months I've posted the stories of the Daddy Day incidents where Guy gets the better of me.

Those posts recount the conversations with my son (aged 2), and what happens on the days I am entrusted with his welfare.

I've  put them together to be the post of a Daddy Blogger.  I now await the invitation to the Lodge.

Thank you for the guffaws, sympathy and ultimately, the encouragement.

Daddy Day Craft Attempt. 

Here I've managed to have got the taste of play-dough out of Guy's mouth (right). It's OK, it's decaf.

Daddy Day Attempted Discipline.

Daddy: AARGH! Don't bite me! If you bite me again I may smack you!  Erm, do you know what a smack is?

Guy: Ooh, a lollypop?

Daddy Day Disaster.

There I was watching Guy at a busy playground, smiling, whilst a Mummy on the seat opposite was frowning at Guy and me. Puzzled, I smiled back and shrugged.  Then I realised my son had A Brown Monster peeking out the top of his nappy for all the world to see.

Daddy Day With Nana.

Daddy (pointing to picture of Santa): Look Guy, who's that?

Guy (pause): Pirate?

Nana (just been Christmas shopping): Actually, he's not far wrong.

The Daddy Day Attenborough.

This morning I half-heartedly explained the concept of camouflage to Guy. His theory: Snow Tigers are white so as to hide in cereal.

Halloween As Explained By Guy.

Daddy: What happened last night, Guy?

Guy: People come, an' give them lollies.

Daddy Day Bed-Time Reading.

Guy suddenly lost patience after the 5th reading of "Green Eggs and Ham".  He turned to the last page and bellowed "He EAT it!"  Just in case I didn't know.

Daddy Day Lesson.

Dads, don't leave home without a "Play School" CD in the car. I calmed Guy's demands for Play School songs (always available in Mummy's car) by putting on a Johnny Cash CD. It worked: he fell asleep during "Folsom Prison Blues". Today's lesson was brought to you by the Man In Black.

Guy Gets Political.

Here Guy (right) lobbies for more Bob The Builder and Thomas The Tank Engine on the ABC.

Attempted Toilet Training on Daddy Day.

Daddy: Guy poo in potty now, not nappy.

Guy: I don' think so

Daddy: What did you say?

Guy (repeats): I don' think so.

Daddy Day Gardening Advice.
Guy: (pointing to thriving parsley bush) "Happy, Daddy!"
Daddy: (puzzled) "Ah, yeah ..."
Guy: (pointing to dying basil bush and shaking head) "That not happy, Daddy".

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Lessons on Rebellion Part II

RAY HOPPER must be reading my stuff.

He seems to be using the lessons on rebellion I covered in last week’s article.  Go to the top of the class, Ray.

Last Friday I started a discourse on the lessons from the American War of Independence for rebellious LNP members.  One of the two lessons was that rebels will often blame the King’s deputies.

King George III, looking either serious or  unhappy. 

Ray Hopper on ABC Radio this week said Jeff Seeney and Tim Nicholls were the villains of the piece.  They had a cunning plan to encourage Campbell Newman to run for Ashgrove, whereas he would lose and they would end up as leaders.

Hopper gave credit to Newman for actually winning the seat and frustrating their plans.

But the third of the three lessons from the American War of Independence is that blaming the leader’s lieutenants for vindictive treatment of rebels can be fallacious and self-delusional.

Take heed Carl Judge, Alex Douglas and Ray Hopper – the stiff-necked and inflexible reaction against dissidents comes from the top.

Far be it that the leader is a dupe of his underlings.  He is the true author of the rebel’s miseries.

It is no use for Clive Palmer or Ray Hopper to appeal to Campbell Newman.  His style of leadership has set a pattern for intolerance of dissent throughout the organisation.

It was no good appealing to King George III in the 1770’s.  He was leading the charge against the rebellious colonists himself.

At the time it was not recognised fully, but after the Americans got their independence, it was clear that “at every turn of the way, it was the King who insisted on fighting on” (p.357, “The Long Fuse”, Don Cook).

One-time Minister and Opposition Leader Charles James Fox actually said later in Parliament that “it was the influence of the Crown … that enabled His Majesty’s Ministers to persevere against the voice of reason, the voice of truth, the voice of the people.”

And George III himself said to John Adams, the first American ambassador in Great Britain, “I was the last to consent to separation.”

Up to the English surrender at Yorktown in 1783 and even beyond, George III never wavered over the American Question.  He broke his own governments that did not accede to his views and persecution of the war.

Sooner or later, rebels have to recognise that the problems and judgement come from the top: ask any MBA graduate who has studied leadership.

Here’s another point.  Whether we are in colonial Boston or post-colonial Brisbane, we cannot assume that the rebels are erroneously focusing their discontent on the King’s lieutenants.

Ray Hooper, looking serious but not unhappy. theaustralian.com.au

 

It may be a deliberate tactic.  They may be fully aware of the leader’s culpability, but feel they cannot take him on.

They may be just shielding themselves from his power, and are focusing on easier and less risky targets.

So there are the three lessons of rebellion for the LNP members walking off the plank, and for those of us watching the shipside splashes with interest.

But the Hopper-Judge-Palmer-Douglas rebellion may not end with a split of the LNP empire.

Never underestimate the ability of politicians to recross those burnt bridges.  And never underestimate their desire to lavish compliments and praise upon powerful men.  Just in case.

John Adams, the leading American revolutionary and second American President, said to King George III he would be the “happiest of men if I can be instrumental in recommending my country … to your Majesty’s royal benevolence.”

The disaffected LNP members may not be revolutionaries.  Just disgruntled.  The choice of the leader is whether to make them rebels.

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American Lessons In Rebellion for Newman

QUEENSLANDERS, we have the seeds of rebellion.  History has some pertinent lessons for those casting themselves out of the ship, and for those of us watching the whole thing from onshore.

If my fellow Queenslanders are curious about what the recent defections from the ruling Liberal National Party may mean, here are three lessons of rebellion we can take from the American War of Independence in the 1770’s.

One lesson is that in the first stage of rebellion, those who have been moved “outside the pale” do not blame their leaders for their disaffection, but the leader’s deputies.

Here in Queensland, Clive Palmer firstly censured Seeney and Nicholls for causing dissent within the LNP.  Initially he appealed to Campbell Newman to control his deputies. 

King George III, a not-so-benevolent monarch

In the early stages of the American War of Independence, the colonists blamed the ministers of King George III for the conflict.  They appealed to the King to reign in his ministers.

The First Continental Congress in Philadelphia in 1774 hoped that “royal indignation” would “fall upon those designing and dangerous men, who daringly interpose themselves” between the King and his subjects, driving them towards rebellion (p.198, “The Long Fuse”, Don Cook).

After the Boston Tea Party, Benjamin Franklin in January 1774 presented a petition from the Massachusetts Assembly to the British Privy Council.

The petition appealed to the King’s “wisdom and goodness”, urging him to remove the Massachusetts governors, who were blamed by the colonists for initiating the current strife (p.183, Cook).

After the first battles of the war at Lexington and Concord, the Continental Congress presented the “Olive Branch Petition” to the King George III, calling upon his kingly qualities to prevent further hostilities.

And what was the reaction of the British government and King George III to these appeals?

In response to the Massachusetts petition, members of the Privy Council abused Benjamin Franklin in terms that shocked some British parliamentarians.

In response to the Olive Branch Petition, the King and the British government purposely ignored the appeal and declared Massachusetts to be in a state of rebellion – they virtually labelled them all outlaws.

"The Long Fuse" by Don Cook

And here we arrive at the second lesson of rebellion relevant to Queensland politics.

The vitriolic reaction to the “rebels” actually increases the chances of success of their rebellion.  A better tactic would be accommodation of the rebels.

The British escalated the rejection of the pleas of the American colonists into punishment and retribution.  That in turn led to resilience and resistance. 

If the British and their King had responded with accommodation, they would have very likely retained the American colonies, for right until the end the Americans professed their loyalty to the King.

But the vindictive British reaction only pushed the rebels into stiffer and more determined resistance.

Once cast out of “the family”, there is no need for rebels to temper their dissidence.  They’re never going back, so they don’t need to hold back.

We can see in the 21^st century that accommodation should have been reached by the King, but that lesson has been overlooked since the second half of the 20^th century.

Instead of remembering the lessons of the American War of Independence in 1774, we almost always recall the lesson of Munich in 1938.  And that lesson is that accommodation must be called appeasement.

After Joseph Chamberlain foolishly decreed that his deal with Hitler over Czechoslovakia meant “peace in our time”, reaching "arrangements" has been seen as dangerous and foolhardy.

In explaining why he persisted in Vietnam, Lyndon Johnson constantly referred to the “dangers of appeasement”, believing that allowing the Viet Cong to get their way would lead to, well, the collapse of democratic freedom.

Ironically, he should have heeded instead the lesson laid out by his rebellious forefathers.

So as we see a steady trickle of Queensland LNP members walking themselves off the plank, we should not forget that the earliest rebels blame the deputies, not the leaders.

And secondly, vindictive retribution by the leader and government actually increases the chances of success of the rebellion.

And what of the all-important third and final lesson from the American War of Independence?  That will have to wait for next week’s article …

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Living in "The Biggest Estate on Earth"

RELEASED quietly about a year ago is one of those rare Australian books – one that will change how you see your country.

“The Biggest Estate on Earth” by Bill Gammage describes how the lush, verdant and productive character of Australia in 1788 was no accident.  It looked this way because of the systematic and precise way it had been managed by Aboriginal people.

The title comes from the pens of the earliest white explorers.  Account after account described how they found the land undulating with alternate grassy meadows and forest patches, like an English gentleman’s country estate.

They were astonished to discover a land dominated by well-spaced large trees, with a lack of undergrowth and an abundance of long swishing grass.

The way Gammage compiles these colonial impressions, collated for us to read in one place for the first time, is a masterful display of the historian’s art.

He can genuinely alter how we view our land and our past, something that few historians can claim.

A farm without fences.

Gammage describes how this land was managed and moulded by pre-1788 people, how subtle dams were built, water channels cut, and how fire was used to replace plant communities.

Australia, he writes, was a farm without fences.  It challenges what we define as a farmer or a primary producer. 

Bill Gammage (Nat Library Australia, Louis Seselja)

If you replanted the top of every yam you used, so as to create hectares of yam fields, and continually weeded it, as happened on Cape York, I’d call that being a cultivator or a farmer.

If you built fish weirs and constructed wooded channels to guide water, as happened on the Darling River, you were engaging in aquaculture on a grand scale.  And the produce was harvested on a scale that ensured longevity in the food supply over differing seasons and many lifetimes.

“The Biggest Estate On Earth” changed how I see fire in the Australian landscape.  I once derided those with an urge to burn the land as red-eyed fire fanciers.  Gammage has demonstrated how it is an essential part of the landscape and many plant communities, a primary resource and a tool. 

But we tend to use it as a blunt club upon the land, using it in fiery ignorance, whereas it was once used as an instrument of supreme delicacy.

There were many different types of fire, and Gammage describes how just one valley had four different types of fire regimes.  There were “cool” fires, fires used for burns every two years, or every 50 years in a different place.

And they were never allowed by Aboriginal people to roar into the incinerating infernos we know today.

 

First Australians, Scientific Land Managers.

In our lifetimes, the First Australians have gone from being seen as indolent inhabitants of Terra Nullius to prudent and scientific caretakers and cultivators.  “The Biggest Estate On Earth” will significantly add to this evolving realisation.

And “scientific” is not a loose term.  Bill Stanner in 1969 wrote that Arnhem Landers used country classifications “as accurately as any ecologist”.

Gammage writes of one grass plain in a eucalypt forest in north east Victoria (page 72).  It is drained by a small creek, and slopes gently to the west where the creek drops away over a 5-metre cliff.

It is in fact a “brilliantly placed trap”, writes Gammage.  “Wallabies panicked on the plain would flee downslope and crash over the cliff, and the survivors would be ambushed in the narrow gully.”

It was a template repeated across Australia, created by fire and stone axes, and a masterful example of landscape design.

Whenever I take the time to stop and gaze over the landscape, I now try to image what it would have been like pre-1788.  If there are a lot of spindly trees on a north-facing slope, I think it was once a paddock, now being colonised by trees after the loss of the fire-burning regime.

Any large tree with a massive trunk may well have been there for over 200 years, and it is there for a reason.

Still, “The Biggest Estate on Earth” is not an easy book for everyone to read.  It is a catalogue of land practices, and has pile upon pile of detail and examples.  It can be a botanist’s bibliography of plant species and their ecosystems.

But it is a book whose importance and impact will grow and grow over the years.

Take time over Christmas to read it, slowly and with perseverance, and read it somewhere you can look over the Australian landscape.

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