I WISH I was a Mummy Blogger. Mummy Bloggers are some of the coolest and
most renowned bloggerati in the
online community.
They get recognition – they’ve been invited
to The Lodge to meet with Julia Gillard. They get awesome sponsorship – have a look at
the ads on their websites.
And what really gets me sighing is
that they produce erudite, witty and informative articles about being a parent.
No one hears about Daddy Bloggers. Perhaps because our articles would be full of
genial confusion and would simply recount our disasters.
You’ve seen how Dads are portrayed on
TV. They are goofy, inept and are often
comic objects.
Well, who am I to disagree? I look at the way my wife parents. Sian is quiet, incisive, and makes the
perfect judgement.
I tend to make it up as I go along, hoping my wife doesn't find out what we've been doing.
But hey, at least I make them laugh.
For those who follow me on Facebook,
over the last six months I've posted the stories of the Daddy Day incidents where
Guy gets the better of me.
Those posts recount the conversations with my
son (aged 2), and what happens on the days I am entrusted with his welfare.
I've put them together to be the
post of a Daddy Blogger. I now await the
invitation to the Lodge.
Thank you for the guffaws, sympathy and ultimately, the encouragement.
Daddy Day Craft Attempt.
Here I've managed to have got the
taste of play-dough out of Guy's mouth (right). It's OK, it's decaf.
Daddy Day Attempted Discipline.
Daddy:
AARGH! Don't bite me! If you bite me again I may smack you! Erm, do you know what a smack is?
Guy:
Ooh, a lollypop?
Daddy Day Disaster.
There I was watching Guy at
a busy playground, smiling, whilst a Mummy on the seat opposite was frowning at Guy and me. Puzzled, I smiled back and shrugged. Then I realised my son had A Brown
Monster peeking out the top of his nappy for all the world to see.
Daddy Day With Nana.
Daddy
(pointing to picture of Santa): Look Guy, who's that?
Guy
(pause): Pirate?
Nana
(just been Christmas shopping): Actually, he's not far wrong.
The Daddy Day Attenborough.
This morning I half-heartedly explained the concept of camouflage to Guy. His theory: Snow Tigers are white so as to hide
in cereal.
Halloween As Explained By Guy.
Daddy:
What happened last night, Guy?
Guy:
People come, an' give them lollies.
Daddy Day Bed-Time Reading.
Guy suddenly
lost patience after the 5th reading of "Green Eggs and Ham". He turned to the last page and bellowed
"He EAT it!" Just in case I didn't know.
Daddy Day Lesson.
Dads, don't leave home
without a "Play School" CD in the car. I calmed Guy's demands for Play School songs (always available in Mummy's car) by putting on a Johnny Cash CD. It worked: he fell asleep during
"Folsom Prison Blues". Today's lesson was brought to you by the Man In Black.
Guy Gets Political.
Here Guy (right) lobbies for more Bob The Builder
and Thomas The Tank Engine on the ABC.
Attempted Toilet Training on Daddy
Day.
Daddy:
Guy poo in potty now, not nappy.
Guy:
I don' think so
Daddy:
What did you say?
Guy
(repeats): I don' think so.
Guy: (pointing to thriving parsley bush) "Happy, Daddy!"
Daddy: (puzzled) "Ah, yeah ..."
Guy: (pointing to dying basil bush and shaking head) "That not happy, Daddy".
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