Can We Fix ABC Kids? Yes We Can-Do.

The Federal public sector must be a-quiver with trepidation at the prospect of an Abbott government.

Imagine the urban planners and environmental protection officers in Canberra who would be tremulous at what may await them on Monday 16 September.

And at the ABC, I’m sure that children’s television programmers would be fearing the hot breathe of the axeman on their necks.

According to LNP philosophy, ABC TV kiddie programmers are probably socialists who have made heroes out of idle public servants.

Picture, if you will, that Campbell Newman and Jarrod Bleijie are sent into the ABC kids department to deal with the Labor-leaning children’s characters that have been created in that unionist hotbed.

Stop standing around and posing. Increase your productivity, Sam.

Even Fireman Sam would not be safe.  Granted, Fireman Sam is constantly rescuing people, putting out fires, which is a core public sector function.  But most of the time he is simply waiting around the fire station.

His non-fire extinguishment time can surely be put to better use, and he should take on functions of public sector workers who have been made redundant.

And what about the people who waste precious public resources by being rescued when simply lost on a walk or their cat is stuck on a roof?  Surely story lines should be included whereas they are made to pay for these services?

Just how Postman Pat has survived all these years is a mystery.  For years he has been simply walking around, delivering mail and talking to people and fixing their problems.  That is way outside his core responsibilities.  Not untypical of a union dominated public sector culture that we can’t afford anymore.

The first thing Campbell and Jarrod would do is put up his job for competitive tender.  Postman Pat can get his sh*t together and tender for his own job.  Let’s see if he can spend time finding kids’ lost toys then.

Class size is clearly not a problem in "Timmy Time"

One new show from the same people who did “Wallace and Grommet” is “Timmy Time”.  This show is about a group of young animals who are educated by an owl and a pelican.

But there are fewer than twelve students in this class room.  To have two teachers is grossly overservicing these education clients.  Is this show a ploy sponsored by the Teachers Union to promote higher teacher numbers?

Liberal hard heads would be unsure about Thomas the Tank Engine.  Are the railways of Sodor a wasteful inefficient public sector enterprise?  Or have they already been privatised, and the Fat Controller has been battling a culture of overemployment and entitlement as he reforms the railway?

Sir Topham Hat shows admirable managerial qualities, but surely he doesn’t need such a large capital investment.  How many engines are needed to deliver their core business?  Just whose side is he on?

Well may you look happy, Bob.  You're safe.

But the Libs cleaning out the children television characters would want Bob The Builder to be the new face of the ABC.

Here is a small businessman who takes on all manner of jobs, and is sensibly flexible with the hours he works.  He doesn’t employ an unnecessarily large workforce, but makes do with just the one worker, Wendy.

Most of his work is done an array of obviously happy machines.  It is clear Bob looks after them very well, and they don’t need the presence of an interfering “third party” union to take care of their welfare.

In fact, the new LNP heads of ABC children’s television could contract out Bob The Builder.  He would make a great front man for new promotional campaigns by chambers of commerce or the mining industry.

So if you are concerned about what is being taught your children by these left-leaning, union influenced suite of children’s television characters, fear not.

Tony Abbot PM must surely be talking to Campbell Newman and Jarrod Bleijie about who can bring some balance into children’s television.  Hmm, what’s Michael Caltabiano doing these days…